


Wrong Feels So Right

by sendricamp



Category: Pitch Perfect
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-29
Updated: 2013-02-27
Packaged: 2017-11-27 09:50:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/660572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sendricamp/pseuds/sendricamp
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It'd be safer to hate her, than to love her and lose her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Safer To Hate Her

Beca was a time-bomb. That is what Aubrey had to tell herself. If she let herself fall, it was going to explode. When she first met the brunette, it was easy to keep her distance, but once she caved and let Beca do her thing, and saw how good the younger woman was at her thing, it became more of a challenge. The way that Beca lived and breathed music was something Aubrey found herself admiring. When Beca had asked her to come down and help with the set lists for the Bellas, she had been slightly hesitant, especially when Beca said she had a single room and an air mattress.

Now she was standing in that room, watching Beca fight with the sheets on her own bed. “I figured the proper thing to do is have clean ones on for you, and I can take the air mattress,” she said, stretching across the bed, trying to get the sheet to stay put. “Sheila brought over some pillows and blankets for the bed, I shoved them in the closet.” Finally getting the sheet on, she rolled onto her back and looked at the blonde. “Why so quiet?”

Aubrey shrugged, not moving from her spot. She mentally kicked herself, trying to get her head to different thoughts. Beca looked so un-Beca, with the lack of eyeliner and her hair spreading out over the sheets, smile on her face. “You look happy,” she noted. “Are you still with Jesse?”

Beca shook her head, sitting up. Aubrey moved to the desk, leaning on the edge of it. “We decided that we were really better as friends,” she explained. Aubrey nodded, trying to shoot the butterflies that were running rampant in her stomach. “Not much has changed, though. He still forces me to watch movies, but now, instead of goodnight kisses, he gives me homework in the form of more movies.” She scrunched up her face for a moment. “But, whatever. It was weird, anyways. It didn’t feel right.”

Aubrey didn’t miss the twinge of sadness in Beca’s voice. “Can I ask you a question and you answer me honestly?” she asked, joining Beca on the bed.

Beca nodded.

“Did he make you happy?”

She shrugged, looking at her hands. “At one point last year, I thought Chloe could make me happy. She, uh, didn’t see things the same way,” she mumbled. “That’s why they call them crushes, right?” she asked, looking up at Aubrey. “I made such a fool out of myself. I kissed her, did she ever tell you that?”

“No.”

“Well, I did. It was horrible. We were both drunk, it was at the hotel after we won, and I just.. I stepped towards her and I kissed her. She pushed me back, gently told me that she just.. wasn’t into me that way. I drank more, then went to my hotel room and I curled up in bed and I cried. Thankfully, when Cynthia Rose made her way back, she didn’t ask about the crying. Not one of my finer moments.”

Aubrey let a small smile float across her face. “That explains why Chloe was complaining about you avoiding her. If I hadn’t pointed you out in the back, she would still think you never came to our graduation.” They remained silent for a moment. “You know I am going to sneak into the auditorium and watch auditions, right? Otherwise, how am I going to help you decide who is good enough to replace myself and Chloe.”

Beca laughed, “No one could replace the two of you,” she said, keeping her eyes locked onto Aubrey’s. She leaned forward a fraction of an inch, eyes widening when she realized what she was doing. “So, yeah!” she said, standing up. “You can have the bed, feel free to settle in for your time here. I have a Philosophy class that I need to get to. I will be back in a couple of hours. You can feel free to use the computer or watch TV or play some video games,” she rushed out, trying to ignore the heat rising in her cheeks as Aubrey smirked at her. She grabbed her bag, turning as she left the room, almost slamming the door behind her.

Beca Mitchell was a ticking time-bomb, and Aubrey was getting closer by the second.

 

* * *

 

 

Jaze and Emma were the two that showed up that Aubrey found herself liking their qualities, and it shocked her that Beca was adament right off the bat that those were the two girls she wanted in the Bellas. No arguments were made, and the initiation went off without a hitch. Aubrey stayed up in the bleachers at hood night, watching the event from a somewhat outside perspective. She smiled, watching Beca approach with two red cups. She handed one to the blonde before falling back against the cement seat. “Figured you wouldn’t want to drink alone,” she explained.

“Appreciated.” She took a sip from the cup, thankful the brunette had brought her a simple beer instead of that strange concoction that was always mixed together. “I don’t know why you feel you need me here, Beca. You clearly have everything under control.”

Beca smirked. “I had been texting Chloe and she said you taking a year off from being an adult was starting to get really annoying. I guess you complain more about having nothing to do than you realize, so I invited you down. I know I said a week, but if you are having fun down here, I think you could stay longer. I kind of like the air mattress.”

“If I stay longer than a week, I am only going to feel like I am imposing.” She let the silence hang between them, watching as the people below them balled in together, dancing and singing. “I miss this.”

“The loud and obnoxious hood night?” Beca asked, laughing.

“I didn’t let myself enjoy last years.”

“Why not?”

“Well, this crazy alt girl that Chloe convinced me to let into the Bellas was getting too close for comfort with a Treble, and it was really distracting,” she said, smiling at Beca. “Turns out, she was the best thing that could have happened to the Bellas, and I really hope she finds someone to follow in her footsteps when she finally leaves college.”

Beca remained quiet for a moment, looking down into her cup. “I feel the pressure to have a repeat of last year.”

“Beca, I would not have handed you that pitch pipe in the first place if I didn’t think you could do it. You have a gift, and it keeps growing every single time you try something new. You are going to do fine, and if the Bellas don’t bring home another trophy? Oh well,” she said, leaning against Beca’s side.

“So, there is more to Aubrey Posen than winning. Never would have seen that coming,” she said, looking up as Jesse made a kissy face at her while pointing to Aubrey. She flipped him off, thankful he stopped his teasing when Aubrey looked up. “Ignore him,” she said.

Aubrey laughed. “It’s good to have friends, Beca. That was part of my problem.. I never let myself have friends. There was Chloe, and that was it.”

“That’s no way to live, but who am I to talk? I didn’t have friends until the Bellas, so yeah,” Beca replied. “I have to go get more beer.”

Aubrey watched her walk back down the steps, continuously grabbing the backs of the seats in order to keep her balance. The blonde stayed in her spot, nursing her one beer, feeling something along the lines of hurt when Beca reappeared at the end of the night, drunker than before, and looped her arm around her waist.

“I see three of you,” she mumbled, her head turning to nuzzle into Aubrey’s neck. “Is the world spinning for you, too?”

“No, Beca, because I only had one beer.” Her voice was clipped, all of her effort going into breathing. She could feel Beca’s breath on her neck, lips pressing to the skin as she spoke. “Just let me know if you are going to be sick.”

“I won’t be.”

They made it to Beca’s dorm with no incident, and Beca slowly crawled onto the mattress, giggling. “What?” Aubrey asked, smiling.

“It moves!” Beca laughed. “When I move, it moves, just like that!” She fell onto her side, looking up at Aubrey. “You’re beautiful,” she whispered, eyes wide. “Don’t let anyone ever tell you differently, Bree. You are absolutely beautiful.”

“Go to sleep, Beca,” Aubrey whispered, her voice strained. Beca kept their eyes locked for another moment before she nodded, turning her face into the pillow. Aubrey sat down at the desk, putting her head into her hands. Five more days. She just had to remember how to breathe for five more days.

* * *

 

Aubrey rolled over on the bed, squinting against the sunlight. She considered herself an early riser, but the first night she was there, Beca was already at her computer with her headphones on when she woke up. She looked at the air mattress, expecting it to be empty, but the sight she was met with caused her heart to jump. Beca was sprawled out, half of her body on the mattress and the other half on the floor. At some point after Aubrey had drifted off, Beca had changed into a tank top and boy shorts, only visible because the blanket had been kicked to the side. Her hair was covering most of her face, but Aubrey could see the way that her mouth was slightly parted, her breathing even with sleep.

She didn’t like how the only thing her brain wanted to do was kiss her. It scared her. She climbed off the bed, kneeling on the floor before gently moving Beca back onto the mattress, pulling the blankets back over her, ignoring the way her whole body was alert when her fingers brushed the small area of skin exposed on Beca’s side. She couldn’t afford to fall for someone like Beca. She was going to destroy her entire world if she let her in, and the only thing she could think to do was call Chloe.

She pulled her phone off of the charger, stepping out into the hall and heading outside before stopped at a bench and scrolling to Chloe’s number, tapping down.

“Yo,” Chloe mumbled, sounding half asleep.

“I don’t know what to do.” Aubrey blurted out.

“Bree? It’s like, five in the morning here. What the hell?”

“I know, and I apologize, but I don’t know what to do. I almost kissed Beca.” she said, her voice shaky.

“Whoa, wait a second,” she said. There was a muffled noise and a hushed apology from Chloe, then a door opening and closing. “You almost kissed her? What happened to getting over her?”

Aubrey rolled her eyes, wondering what Chloe’s latest one-night stand looked like. “I thought that was going to be ten times easier but then, you know, instead of getting a hotel room, she offers up her bed and she is sleeping on an air mattress. She was drunk last night, and when we got back to her dorm and she was laying down, and I swear to whatever that she dropped all the alcohol fuzziness when she looked right into my eyes and told me I was beautiful.”

She heard Chloe let out a breath. “Holy shit.”

“Exactly.”

“You gotta tell her, Bree.”

“And how do you foresee that conversation going for me, Chloe? Beca, I have been head over heels for you since I stopped being a controlling bitch and let you actually finish a sentence?” She sighed. “I wasn’t supposed to fall for her, Chloe. I can’t afford to fall for her. She is everything I am supposed to hate, but for some reason, when it comes to her, I am just.. I can’t stop.”

“Your emotions aren’t stagnant. I think we can both agree that Beca knows more than anyone how people can change. Give her a chance, Bree. It might surprise you. I love you, but I have be up for work in three hours and I have a chick to kick out of my apartment. Let me know how it goes,” she said quickly before ending the call.

Aubrey stared at the screen for a moment before taking a deep breath and making her way back to Beca’s dorm. The brunette was still asleep, blanket once again kicked off of her. Inhaling slowly, holding the breath, Aubrey gently nudged her, watching as she batted her hand away before mumbling something Aubrey didn’t quite catch. “Beca,” she said, nudging her again. “Wake up.”

Beca lifted her head, eyes still half closed. “This place better be on fire,” she grumbled, and Aubrey couldn’t help but smile. “What?” Beca asked, her voice softer.

Hoping that she wasn’t making a mistake, she leaned forward, pressing her lips to Beca’s.


	2. Make A Move

Aubrey pulled away, her cheeks flushed and her hands still tangled in Beca’s hair. Glancing at the clock on the wall, she realized it had been almost a full two minutes. “Good morning?” she offered, her forehead pressed to Beca’s. The younger woman kept her hands on either side of Aubrey’s waist, looking down at her. “When did that happen?” she asked, taking note of them tangled together on the bed, Beca hovering over her.

“I am guessing somewhere between first contact and that little bite thing you did on my lower lip,” she replied, her voice barely above a whisper. “Can I ask what sparked this?”

“I figured if you were going to destroy my life, I might as well let you know you were doing it,” she mumbled, pulling Beca in for another kiss. She felt more than heard the small moan from Beca’s throat, instinctively rolling her hips upwards, hands moving from Beca’s hair to her hips, pulling her closer.

Beca broke the kiss, smile on her face. “You like me?” Aubrey nodded. “For how long?”

“Since I watched you put the setlist together for finals,” she whispered.

“What took you so long?”

“I was scared.”

Beca shook her head, smile on her face. “You are beautiful, Aubrey. I know what I said. I meant what I said.”

The blonde tensed, moving Beca and rolling off of the bed. “Don’t you have a class this morning?” she asked, leaning over the desk to look at the schedule the brunette had sloppily scribbled. “Yeah. Philosophy. Didn’t you take that last year, too?”

“That was intro, this is an actual one,” Beca explained, getting up and moving to sit at the chair, her head in her hands. Aubrey slid two aspirin and a bottle of water towards her, having anticipated this moment before she fell asleep. “Thank you,” she mumbled, downing the pills and half the bottle of water.

“Are you thinking of pursuing that?”

Beca shook her head. “I still have no idea what I want to focus on, so I am also taking a psych class, and a handful of music theory related classes,” she said, looking at the blonde. “Are we just going to ignore the makeout sessions?”

“I took a few psych classes,” Aubrey said, not meeting Beca’s gaze. “What about your general ed requirements?” she asked, moving to the bed and sitting down. “I wanted to major in Psychology, but my dad thought business was a better option when it came time to getting a real job.”

“How is that working out for you?” Beca asked, opting to not try for figuring out the kissing.

“I feel like after my one year is up, I am still going to have no idea what to do. Chloe got lucky. I mean, I think the only reason she keeps this bartending job is because she doesn’t have to actively look for someone to take home, but working at Universal, she basically gets paid to find talent. Do you know how easy that is for her?” Aubrey put her head in her hands. “I have a college degree that can get me into multiple fields, but I have no fucking clue what to do with it.”

Beca turned in the chair, her eyes locking onto the blonde. “Just because you have a college degree, doesn’t mean you have to know what to do with it, Bree,” she said, her voice soft.

“That isn’t what my family thinks,” she groaned. “They talk about me, you know. The failure.”

“You aren’t a failure.”

“They base their opinion on the bad things. Pukegate. Taking a year off after school. I mean, for fucks sake, Beca, the only reason I could fly out here was because Chloe bought my ticket. I’ve been cut off, forced to make my own way, when I don’t even know what I want that way to be.” She slammed her mouth shut, already telling the brunette more than she wanted her to know. “You should get to class. Bellas rehearsal this afternoon.”

Beca opened her mouth to respond, instead choosing to just nod before finding her jeans and pulling them on. She pulled her hair into a messy bun and turned to look at Aubrey. “We should grab lunch before rehearsals,” she said, grabbing her bag and giving the blonde a smile before leaving the room. Once she was out into the sunshine, she immediately found Cynthia Rose under her usual tree in the quad. “Hey!” she said, dropping her bag next to her.

“Shouldn’t you be in class?” she replied, letting her headphones rest around her neck.

“Whatever. This is more important.” She took a deep breath. “Aubrey kissed me.”

“Wow.”

“I don’t even mean just peck on the lips kiss, but she just.. she pressed her lips to me and next thing I know I am on top of her and her hands were in my hair and my body was on fire, and then she kissed me again and if I didn’t have any grasp on my self control, I would have fucked her right then and there,” she said, her eyes not leaving her best friends.

“It must have been everything you imagined it would be,” Cynthia Rose said, smirk on her face.

“She said she started liking me when we were working on the set for finals last year. I tried to ask her what this whole kissing thing meant, but she just.. she shut me out. I don’t think she regrets it, but I think it scared her,” she said, looking down at her nails.

Cynthia Rose remained silent for a moment before nudging Beca with her knee. “Why do you think it scared her?”

“Fear of failing?” Beca offered. Cynthia Rose gave her a puzzled look. “She is taking a year off to figure out what to do with her degree, and she seems to be upset over the fact that Chloe is doing exactly what she wants to do. Her family looks down on her, and I just.. I don’t know how to make her see that she is going to be okay. She has nothing to be scared about.”

“In relation to her life and growing up or in relation to you?”

Beca opened and closed her mouth a few times. “I can’t ask her to be not scared of me, because I’m scared of me.”

“Beca, you have nothing to be scared of. Neither does she. Hell, I know you love her.”

“Oh?”

“Are you forgetting who ran up my phone bill calling me every single night over the summer telling me how much she couldn’t stop thinking about Aubrey or wondering if Aubrey would like this mix or that food?” she asked, smiling. “Beca, it is okay to let yourself fall for her, you know that, right? Sure, you might get hurt, but it is better than sitting back and pretending like there is nothing there.”

Beca groaned, falling back onto the grass with her hands over her face. “I just want her to tell me what the kiss means!” she cried out, louder than planned. A shadow fell over her face and she looked up, seeing Aubrey standing over her. “Oh. Hey.”

“Isn’t she supposed to be in class?” Aubrey asked, looking at Cynthia Rose.

“She saw me here. We were.. talking Bella stuff..” she stammered, gathering her books up and shoving them in her bag before looking at Beca. “I have my criminology class in ten minutes, so, yeah. See you tonight!” she called, walking away.

Beca stayed on the ground, looking up at the blonde. “Hi,” she whispered, smiling at Aubrey. “You might wonder what I am doing on the grass in the brilliant sunshine instead of inside a stuffy room learning about Philosophy, am I right?”

“It crossed my mind.” She sat down against the tree, watching Beca sit up. “I’m sorry I kind of shut you out,” she said, her voice quiet. “I just really wanted to do that and I had myself all set up for you pushing me away and kicking me out that I just.. it threw me off, you know?” She looked at Beca, noting how she was picking at her nails, her eyes locked on Aubrey. “What are we, Beca? Friends who kissed?”

The brunette was silent for a moment, turning her thoughts over in her head before she locked eyes with Aubrey again. “I would be willing to try,” she said. “Aubrey Posen, would you like to go on a date, tonight, with me? I can wine and dine you, then ask you, properly, to be my girlfriend. Does that sound okay to you?”

Aubrey slowly nodded, a small smile on her face. “I think that would be.. aca-awesome,” she laughed, watching as Beca chuckled before turning and stretching out on the grass, her head resting on Aubrey’s knee. She started running her fingers through Beca’s hair, smiling down at her. Beca dug a textbook out of her bag and opened it, resting it on her stomach as she read.

“Maybe.. you could stay a little longer than a week?” Beca asked, a few minutes later. “I mean, if I don’t scare you off before then.”

Leaning her head back against the tree and closing her eyes, she smiled. “We’ll see. I am going to have to go back to California eventually, you know. Someone has to keep Chloe in check.”

“Chloe’s a big girl.”

“Chloe is a big girl who brings home a different person every night when left unattended.”

Beca scrunched up her face. “I hope she uses protection and washes the sheets often,” she commented. “Maybe I am over analyzing things, but do you think there is something she is trying to distract herself from if she feels the need to have that many partners?”

Aubrey was quiet for a moment. “First off, are you implying what I think you were with that comment?” she asked, looking down at Beca.

“That Chloe is a slut? No. I don’t think that, I just really do hope she is smart enough to realize the dangers of having that many different sexual partners. I mean, I know I am not one to talk.. I’ve only been with two people, but still. With that many options, why doesn’t she just.. settle?”

“I asked her the same thing. Her reasoning is that she is working between sixty to seventy hours a week, between the two jobs. She does the bartending thing on her two days off from the talent consultant. She barely has time to remember to eat three times a day much less carry on a steady relationship. I wanted to know why she seems to be working herself into the ground, and she just said she was happy with the way her life was, and I left it at that,” Aubrey explained.

“That doesn’t sound like the answer you ended up getting was satisfying,” Beca remarked, closing the book but making no move to get up. “I just.. I know last year she had a couple different people, but nothing serious.. but this just seems.. extreme. I can understand her feeling like she doesn’t have the time for something serious, but that doesn’t mean she can’t have a usual bed buddy.”

The blonde shook her head. “This Chloe isn’t the same one from last year. I don’t know how to explain it in terms where it would make sense, but there is just.. something different about her. She is so happy with this job at Capitol, and like I said, on her two days off she does the bartending, which I think she likes more for the free drinks. I guess if you get a hot redhead making your drinks, you are inspired to buy her a drink as well.”

“You have a hint of worry in your voice when you talk about her, did you know that?” Beca asked.

“She’s my best friend, Beca. I can’t help but worry when I do nothing but question her choices,” she replied, leaning down and placing a light kiss on her forehead. “If you run, you can make it to math,” she whispered, smiling. “I was going to go out and get some food to stash in your room. I’ll see you tonight, for our date, yeah?”

Beca sat up, gathering her things, and turned to face Aubrey. “I look forward to it,” she said, smiling before leaning in, giving her a quick kiss on the lips before jumping up and running off across the quad.


	3. For All That I Am

Chloe let the apartment door close behind her, tossing her purse onto the counter before collapsing onto the couch. Digging her phone from her pocket, she scrolled to the number of the bar, pressing down before putting the phone to her ear. “Jake, it’s Chloe.. yeah.. I had a bitch of a day trying to get all these errands run so I don’t think I am going to make it in tonight, yeah? Yeah, I promise I will get some actual sleep. See you tomorrow night,” she said, ending the call and leaning her head back against the couch.

She wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed and cry, but it wasn’t the same without Aubrey there to calm her down. She had received a text earlier in the day from her friend about Beca asking her out on an official date after a steamy kiss in the morning, and the happiness for her friend had gotten her through most of the day. She needed release, now, but with calling off from the bar, that severely limited her selection of trusted flings.

Closing her eyes, she took a few deep breaths. She kept herself so busy with work, Aubrey was the only friend she had, besides the few acquaintances from work, so there was no one to call up to see about heading to a club with. She didn’t want to go alone, though, so she resigned her brain to the fact that it was going to have to be a diddle jam night if she wanted anything. Aubrey had told her that Beca was asking why she didn’t just settle if she had people lining up to sleep with her, and the places her own mind went with the answer to that question scared her.

It was an easy lie, to say it was work. She kept herself busy with finding new talent and sitting through meetings and hearing that she was the best ear they had hired in a long while. Working anywhere close to fifteen hours a day, spending her weekends slinging drinks to big tippers. She only had time for flings. She wasn't emotionally capable of trying for something more. So she lied when Aubrey asked her if she was okay, and when the lights went out at night, vodka was her only friend.

Mike had been what she wanted. He cared about her, supported her and loved her. Ultimately, it was her getting his band a record deal that destroyed them. He started touring, she started working the long hours. She would be asleep when he would call, and he would be on stage when she would call. Communication failed, and when he was back in Los Angeles, their once familiar and coordinated movements seemed clumsy and new.

They could work past it, he had said, his arms wrapped around her. They were in love, they could work through anything that life threw at them. She believed him, too, until she lost the baby. She hadn’t known she was pregnant, so when she woke up bleeding, they were both scared. When they had gotten back to the apartment, he had broken down and blamed her. If she hadn’t been working so hard, or stressing so much, it wouldn’t have happened. She listened, and he moved out.

Aubrey had moved in, no questions asked. When Chloe took the job as a bartender, Aubrey was even considerate enough to make herself scarce when she knew the redhead would be bring home someone. She knew her friend worried, but it was Chloe’s way of coping. The alcohol was an unforeseen addiction, but it wasn’t interfering with her work, so she didn’t feel the need to do anything about it. So, here she was, twenty-three and alone, her life falling to pieces around her. She wanted Aubrey to be happy, because if anything, Aubrey deserved it. She would be lying, however, if she were to tell anyone that it didn’t hurt.

She moved to the kitchen, opening the freezer and pulling out the bottle of vodka, twisting the cap off and taking a drink, groaning as the alcohol slid down her throat. She walked to the patio door, opening it and letting the California warmth into the apartment. Taking a seat on the furniture Aubrey had helped her pick out, she squinted against the sunlight. Her phone buzzed in her hand and she jerked, not realizing she was still holding the item. She slid her thumb across the screen and put the phone to her ear. “Ser, it’s my day off, what?” she mumbled.

“Aren’t you a ray of fucking sunshine today!”

“I’ve had a long day and I am now sitting in my apartment drinking, so if you think I am going to go out and listen to some band in some seedy bar, you are gravely mistaken,” she said, a smile playing at the corner of her mouth. They were the dream team, according to their coworkers. Serenity knew where all of the dive bars that had good talent were, and Chloe had the ear to make sure she wasn’t going insane.

“Then I guess I am bringing this small stack of demos to you,” she said, ending the call before Chloe could protest. She set her phone down on the table, sipping at the vodka, hearing a key scrape in the front door around twenty minutes later. “Sup, red?”

Chloe turned to look at her friend, a frown on her face. “I’m frustrated.”

Serenity reached over, grabbing the bottle from her and taking a swig before flopping onto the chair next to her, setting the bottle between them. “Well, you have these two days off a week and you do nothing but more work,” she said, shrugging.

“Not that kind of frustrated.”

Serenity was silent for a moment. “Oh.”

"Yeah. And I'm so exhausted that I called off at the bar. So that means no sex for me," she said, reaching for the bottle, frowning when it was empty. "I knew I should have stopped at the store."

Serenity chuckled. "I could help you out, you know."

The redhead looked over, an eyebrow raised. "What?"

"Oh, cut the shit. You're hot. I'm hot. We should fuck," she said, moving from her chair to Chloe's, standing over her. Chloe looked up, actually looking at Serenity. She knew only part of it was the vodka, but she reached up, her fingers winding through dark blonde hair -- noting that green and blue streaks were the norm this week -- and pulled the twenty-five year old down, slamming their lips together.

Chloe felt the warmth spreading through her body, pulling Serenity closer. “Bedroom,” she mumbled, breaking the kiss to stand up. She pulled the woman to her bedroom, pressing her back to the wall as her hands slid under the fabric of her shirt. Her lips grazed along Serenity’s jawline, letting out a muffled curse when she heard her phone ringing. “I have to answer that,” she mumbled, recognizing the ringtone for Aubrey.

Reluctantly, she pulled away, finding her phone on the patio. She pressed it to her ear, growling out, “this better be good, Bree.”

There was a sniff on the other end, then Aubrey’s tear-filled voice, “I think I fucked it up.”

* * *

 

Aubrey fixed her shirt, wishing she had thought to at least bring something nicer than jeans for her stay. It wasn’t like she could have anticipated being asked on a date. The door to Beca’s room opened, the brunette stepping in and shutting it behind her. She was dressed in that usual jeans and tank top look, the familiar purple button up thrown over it. “You look good,” she said, smiling as she caught Aubrey’s eyes in the mirror.

Aubrey bit down on her lip before turning around. “Are you sure?”

Beca looked her over, nodding. “Yeah.”

“Not about the outfit,” she said, waving her hand. “About me.”

“Aubrey, I wouldn’t have asked you out if I wasn’t sure.” She sat down on the bed, pulling her sneakers to her, shaking her head with a smile when she saw the slight heel on the shoes Aubrey was wearing. “Did you think on where you wanted to go?” she asked, standing up and moving to the desk, searching for her wallet.

“I know there is a P.F. Changs at Cumberland Mall downtown,” she said, making a last adjustment to her shirt before moving a pair of jeans on the floor with her foot, leaning down to pick up the worn leather wallet sitting underneath it. She held it out to Beca, a small smile on her face. The brunette grabbed it, shoving it in her pocket before grabbing her keys, leading them to her car.

They remained silent on the drive downtown, Beca only speaking when telling the hostess there were two of them. Aubrey noted that the younger womans voice sounded slightly shaky. She smirked, pleased on some level, to know she could make Beca that nervous. Once situated at their table with drinks ordered -- a soda for Beca, water for Aubrey -- she reached across the table, her fingers linking with Beca’s as they looked over their menus. “I was thinking dumplings for a starter,” Beca said, looking up. Aubrey nodded, smiling. “Do you know what you want to eat?”

“Beef and broccoli,” she said, giving Beca a confused look when the smaller woman laughed. The waiter approached, Beca giving a wink to Aubrey before turning her attention on the male.

“Pan fried dumplings as a starter, and two orders of beef and broccoli, please,” she said, taking Aubrey’s menu and stacking it on hers before handing them to the waiter. “I was laughing because that is one of the only things I ever get from here,” she explained, taking a drink of her soda before focusing her attention back on Aubrey.

Aubrey grabbed her hand again, thumb running slowly over the back of her hand. “I am glad I shut my brain up long enough to kiss you,” she mumbled.

Beca shot her a small smile, and even in the dim restaurant, Aubrey could swear she had made Beca blush. They ate in relative silence, opting to shoot smiles at each other instead of carrying on a conversation. After dinner, Beca drove them back to Barden, walking slowly alongside Aubrey as they made their way across the grass in front of Beca’s dorm, hands loosely linked.

“I had a very, very nice dinner,” Aubrey said, stopping to look at Beca. “Who know that you had a sweet and romantic side underneath all that.. alt girl style.”

Beca shrugged, taking a step backwards, looking at the blonde. “I don’t show it to most people,” she replied.

“I like this Beca. A lot less like your annoying self,” she said, not realizing how those words could be taken until she saw Beca’s face fall. “I didn’t me..”

“No, I get it. I’ve heard the line before, Aubrey. It’s just how you are,” she said, breaking all contact between the two of them. “I just thought you had changed, but I guess I was mistaken.” She turned and walked into the building.

“Fuck!” Aubrey hissed, digging in her pocket for her phone. She quickly scrolled to Chloe’s number and dialed. Tears were already forcing their way out of her eyes. She sobbed at Chloe’s growled greeting, sniffing before choking out the only words in her head. “I think I fucked it up.”


	4. Baby Be Brave

Aubrey slowly opened Beca’s door, noting that the younger woman was sitting at her desk, headphones on. She could hear the music pumping through them, and Beca’s hand was guiding the mouse across the screen, clicking rapidly. She took a step forward, telling herself that Beca wasn’t upset, she just wanted to focus on her music. Taking the few steps, she gently put her hand on Beca’s shoulder. “Beca?”

Beca jumped and pulled off her headphones, turning and rolling her eyes when she saw Aubrey. “What do you want?” she snapped.

Aubrey swallowed hard. “Okay, I deserved that,” she mumbled.

“Yeah, you did.” Beca started to turn back around, raising her headphones to her ears again, when Aubrey stopped her.

“Please, Beca, can we talk?”

“Didn’t we do enough of that already?”

“You know what we did wasn’t talking. And I need to explain what happened. I feel horrible.”

Beca scoffed. “I don’t believe you.”

Aubrey felt her jaw clench and tried to hold back her comment. “Please, Beca.”

Beca sighed and turned around fully. “Fine, Aubrey. Talk.”

Aubrey moved to sit on the bed. She looked down at her hands for a moment, twisting them together before looking up to meet Beca’s eyes. “So, I know I can be a bitch, I realize that. But I also know that I’m not the only one who doesn’t know how to say the right thing all the time.”

Beca nodded slowly, she knew that bit to be true. “Go on.”

Aubrey almost groaned. Beca wasn’t making this easy at all, though she didn’t expect anything less. It was one of the most frustrating things about the brunette, but also possibly one of her favorite things about her as well. “You know that you can be so infuriating, right?”

Beca smirked. “It’s one of my charms.”

“Unfortunately.” Aubrey almost laughed at the surprised look on Beca’s face. “What, don’t act like you don’t know that.”

Beca shrugged, seeming unsure of herself for the first time since Aubrey walked into the room. “What did you want to say, Aubrey?”

“I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for what I said, I didn’t mean that.”

“It’s called tact, Aubrey. You should learn to use it.”

Aubrey tried to keep from seeing red. “I’m sorry, Beca, that tact wasn’t in my father’s little book of how to royally fuck up your only child!” She shut her mouth abruptly.

Any tension that was shown in Beca’s posture fell at those words. “Aubrey..”

“Don’t,” she said, putting her hand up. She rested her other hand on her stomach, trying to calm it. That was the last thing they needed right now. She moved to the bed, sitting down. “I am sorry, Beca. This whole thing is new to me. Not one person every showed interest in my in my four years here, and I have only been on a handful of dates in my life. I don’t know what I am doing when it comes to you. I spent so much time ignoring you and shooting you down, but you were always right there, until you walked away.”

Beca joined her on the bed, linking their hands. “You accused me of sleeping with Jesse.”

She nodded. “I seriously thought you were, and when I said that, I didn’t even think about it. I didn’t think of it as breaking the Bellas oath. I don’t know why, but the thought of you hooking up with him hurt me. I see why it did now, but then.. I just.. I was confused, and you were so stubborn and instead of fighting back you just.. left.”

Beca shrugged. “I was tired of fighting you, Aubrey. Yes, I should have told you that I was going to alter the set, but really, you would have just kicked me out before I had the chance to do it. But I didn’t know I was going to do it until it happened. When I had found out that because of what I did, the Bellas hadn’t scored high enough to advance..” her voice trailed off. “If you tell anyone this, I will hunt you down. I cried. I felt horrible, because I knew it was my fault.”

Aubrey remained silent, her eyes on the floor.

“I want to figure this out, how this is going to work with you, alright? I don’t know why I thought we wouldn’t fight. It’s what we do,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “You make me crazy, do you know that?”

“You don’t make it easy on me, either, Beca.”

“I know. And I want you to be patient with me while I learn how to break down these walls, alright?”

“Since when have you known me to have patience?” Aubrey asked, a small smile on her face as she looked at the brunette. There was a look in her eyes that Aubrey had only seen once before, and that was when Beca was showing her the mix she wanted the Bellas to use the previous year. It was a mixture of love, adoration and hope. Before she could second guess herself, Aubrey leaned over, pressing her lips to Beca’s. Her hand came up to run through Beca’s hair before stalling at the base of her neck, pulling her closer. Breaking the kiss, she rested her forehead against Beca’s. “I just really wanted to do that,” she mumbled.

Beca smiled -- that real smile that she saved for her mixes -- and stretched out on the bed, pulling Aubrey down with her. She kicked off her boots, turning on her side so she could curl up next to the blonde. She nuzzled her face into the crook of her neck when she felt an arm wrapping around her. Listening to the sound of their breathing for a moment, she let her right hand draw lazy circles on Aubrey’s stomach before she lifted her head up, meeting those grey eyes. “I think.. for date number two.. we should order in,” she said. “We can talk more freely in here than we seem to be able to accomplish anywhere else, and I think right now, talking might do us good.”

Aubrey nodded.

“And no yelling. No jumping to conclusions and no making references to how stupid I was last year.”

“You weren’t stupid.”

“Yes, I was,” she said, rolling away from the blonde and propping herself up on her elbow. “I was basically forced to join some form of activity if I wanted to get out of this school. I fought you every single step of the way, Aubrey. I was too headstrong. I didn’t stop to think that what you were doing was what the Bellas needed. I mean, you were completely wrong on that..” her voice trailed off, watching Aubrey sit up.

She put her hand up to let Beca know she was going to speak. “I was doing what had been pounded into my head since my first Bellas rehearsal. Yes, the songs were outdated and cliché, but that was the Bella way. I know the only reason that Chloe and I were in charge..”

“Chloe was never in charge!” Beca said, a hollow laugh escaping her lips. “You dictated everything, and she never got a say in the matter. You would just continuously shoot her down when she tried to defend me!”

“Because you didn’t know when to shut up!” she snapped, standing up and looking at Beca. “You still don’t know how to shut up! You are so..” she paused, trying to find the right word.

“What, Aubrey? What am I?” Beca challenged.

“Frustrating!” she yelled. Her stomach felt like it was flipping. She sat down in the desk chair, leaning so her head was between her knees as she worked on taking slow and steady breaths. After a moment, she felt secure enough to sit up and look at Beca. The younger woman had tears in her eyes, refusing to fall, and her mouth was pressed together in a tight line.

“So, why are you making the effort to date me?” she asked, voice quiet and even. “Tell me, Aubrey, if I am so frustrating, tell me why you think I am worth all of this effort.”

Aubrey took a breath, collecting her thoughts, before she met Beca’s eyes again. “You are frustrating. You infuriate me more often than not. You rarely think before you speak. But there is something about you, Beca, that I just cannot shake. It’s the way you look at music like it is the only thing keeping you afloat. You act like you don’t care what a soul says about you, but when I see you here, alone, in the safety of your room, there are cracks and even when every single fiber of my being is telling me to run away because this is only going to end in misery, I can’t walk away from you. You have no structure.. no solid plan. You float through, winging it, and I admire that, because I never had that option!”

Beca remained silent, back straight as she kept her gaze locked on Aubrey.

“Growing up, everything was scheduled. Planned. There was no stepping off of this set path. Nothing changed when I came to Barden, until Chloe spotted you at the fair. You, in a way, insulted the one thing in my life that was mine and not my fathers, and I saw you as a challenge. The second you stepped onto that stage to audition, I knew I was bringing you into the Bellas, if only so I could make myself better. Perfect. If I could get you to fit in this Bellas mold, I was going to be able to do anything with my life. But you fucked everything up, Beca! Because you fought back and you made me doubt if what I was doing was right. You made me question more than just the Bellas. You made me question myself and what I believed I was supposed to be doing. I was going to graduate with a business degree, I was going to meet the perfect man and marry him.. have a few kids.. but, you, Beca Mitchell.. with your ear monstrosities and your attitude and you everything.. you made me realize that I was looking at life wrong.”

“So, how were you supposed to be looking at life?”

“I stopped trying to fit the mold my father had laid out for me,” she said, her voice softer. “I started thinking about what I wanted, not what I needed. When I held that trophy up, I realized that it wasn’t what had been so important. What was important was learning that being perfect was not the goal. Giving up control, watching you let each of those girls show off what they knew, that was the goal. Caring more about the people around me, not an object. In those few weeks, I watched the Bellas turn into something beautiful, and it was all because of you. It came as no surprise to Chloe when I woke up in the middle of the night, a week after we moved to Los Angeles, with the realization that I was falling in love with you. You are spontaneous, exciting and vibrant. You are new and brave. That is why I want to make this effort, Beca. Because you are everything I was always too scared to be. You are yourself, and no one can tell you differently.”


	5. Lovely

It had been three days since Chloe had almost slept with Serenity. She was happy that Aubrey and Beca had worked things out, but it did nothing to calm the feeling in the pit of her stomach. She had gone to the bar on Sunday night for her usual shift, but turned down every single person that she normally would have taken in a heartbeat. Green eyes invaded her mind, refusing to leave her alone.

She rested her elbows on her desk, sighing. Her gaze lifted when the door to the office opened. Serenity gave her a small smile, setting a cup and a folder on her desk. "Those are the demos we never got to on Saturday, and tis the season for pumpkin lattés. There are a few good ones in there," she said, taking a seat in a chair and pointing at the folder. "I marked them, as usual."

Chloe nodded, setting the folder next to her laptop. "Are we going to talk about it?" she asked, her voice low.

Serenity shrugged, taking a sip from her own drink. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Was there more to wanting to sleep with me than just the sex?”

“Is it a bad thing if there was?”

Chloe remained silent for a moment, leaning back in her chair. “I don’t know,” she finally said, closing her eyes. “I don’t think it would be a bad thing. I just don’t know how I feel about that right now. You of all people know how much I work...”

“And we work together.”

Chloe opened her eyes, looking at Serenity.

“That’s how I choose to look at this, Chloe. We are always here the same amount of time. We know what the hectic schedule can be like. We understand each other. In all honesty, it would make sense, but I don’t want to push you towards anything,” she said, keeping her voice even.

“I don’t want to let you in... I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“In case you haven’t noticed, Chloe, I’m a big girl.”

The redhead smiled. She grabbed her drink, sipping at it, her eyes locked on the other woman’s. “My last relationship ended horribly,” she started, “and it hurt me. It still hurts me.”

“Chloe, I can be just as good as Neosporin and a band-aid,” she replied. “We can start a friends with benefits relationship, or you can let me take you out to dinner or to a movie, and then we can go back to your place or my place and have a few glasses of wine. We don’t have to sleep together. You can have someone to open up to. I know you have been sulking without having Aubrey here, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t other people you can open up to when you need someone, okay?”

“What would you get out of either arrangement?”

Serenity was silent for a moment, scrunching her face up in thought. “I don’t expect anything in return.”

“Liar.” Chloe smiled.

“Truth. Chloe, you’ve been hurt. I’ve been hurt. I don’t expect anything in return other than the company of someone who at least slightly understands me.” She returned the smile. “So, what do you say, Beale? Dinner tonight? Nothing fancy. I was thinking that Pho in Burbank.”

“You drive a hard bargain, Michaelson.” Chloe took a drink from the cup in her hand, her eyes still locked on those same green eyes that were constantly haunting her daydreams. “I’ll meet you there at seven tonight and we can see how it goes.”

* * *

 

Chloe headed from the parking garage towards the Pho, stopping short when she saw Serenity sitting on one of the benches by the movie theatre. “Hey, stranger,” she said, sitting next to her. “How long have you been here?”

“Twenty minutes. I may or may not have been a little nervous,” she said, smirking. “So, I was thinking... maybe we can hang out for a while, then go see a movie and then grab some pho since it’s open all night. Make a proper first date. The bonus is that we already know each other so that really awkward phase can be totally skipped.”

The redhead smiled, linking her hand in Serenity’s as she stood up. “There is a bookstore across the street that has a bunch of stuff for cheap,” she explained, pulling the blonde with her. “I remember I found this limited edition copy of a Star Wars book for under a buck.”

“Wow, you have a nerd side?”

Chloe turned, her hands on Serenity’s waist as she walked backwards through the crammed aisles. “Are you rethinking dating me now that you know?” she asked, her voice low. She pulled the older woman closer, her own back falling back against one of the shelves.

“Oh, never. I like nerds. Huge turn-on,” she replied, resting her forehead against Chloe’s. Suddenly, the redhead moved away from Serenity, heading for a shelf a few feet down the aisle, smile on her face. She grabbed a book, flipping delicately through the pages. “You do know that if we don’t head back over to the theatre, we are going to miss the movie, right?”

Chloe frowned, holding up the book. “This is one of the Adventures of Han Solo books, Serenity. There were only three hundred of these babies ever printed. This is serious. This is a big deal. The movie will be there if we have to wait a couple hours... this book might not be. I have to buy it.”

Serenity rolled her eyes, smiling as she followed Chloe to the register. “You are such a weirdo,” she said, her arm sliding around Chloe’s waist as they walked back towards the movie theatre.

“Says the chick who wants to see a zombie love story on the first date,” she shot back, leaning into the blonde. She smiled, feeling Serenity kiss the top of her head. They remained silent, Chloe trying to protest when Serenity beat her to paying for the tickets and refreshments. “Really?”

“I was the one who asked you on the date, so I automatically have the right to pay for everything if I want to,” she explained, moving the armrest between the seats up, pulling Chloe closer to her. Chloe settled in, her head resting on Serenity’s shoulder. She felt herself starting to drift off halfway through the movie, but she knew it had more to do with the sense of comfort than the film itself. When the credits had begun to roll, she looked up at Serenity.

“I think I am absolutely starving now,” she mumbled, kicking herself for sounding tired.

“When was the last time you slept?” she asked, concern in her voice.

Chloe shrugged. “Like, I don’t know, a few days.” She stood up, stretching. “Let’s go get us some nice hot food, and then you can come back to my apartment and tuck me in,” she said, holding her hand out. Serenity smiled, linking their fingers together. “If you are really good, you might get a kiss goodnight. I’ll let you imagine where.”

“Hmm. You drive a hard bargain, Beale,” Serenity mumbled, pushing the button to take the elevator down to the restaurant. Chloe leaned back against the older woman, closing her eyes. “I figured we would both be too lazy to take the stairs.”

“Good call,” she replied, tiredness still hanging at the edge of her voice. She lead the way into the restaurant, easily ordering the pho with beef, turning to watch Serenity order her own food -- pho with shrimp, Chloe filed somewhere in her mind -- before beating the blonde to the payment. “It is only fair that since you paid for everything at the movies, I get dinner.”

“Sneaky move.” She grabbed the number and picked the table in the corner, watching Chloe slide in the booth next to her. “Are you going to be able to stay awake long enough to eat?” she asked, a smile on her face.

“I’ll be fine.”

Serenity nodded, the smile fading slightly. “You know, I live close by, so I walked here... if you want me to drive you home, I can do that. Otherwise I might freak myself out checking the news every five seconds trying to find out if there were any car accidents on the 5.”

“Alright,” Chloe replied, stifling a yawn. The two women sat in silence, Chloe immediately digging into her food. “Sorry, I just... really like pho.” She smirked, slowing her pace. “Thank you, you know... for wanting to take a chance on me.”

“You are an irresistible force, Chloe. I don’t think I had much of a choice in the matter,” Serenity said, her voice low.

They finished their food in silence, Chloe occasionally throwing a small smile at the blonde. She led the way to her car, pressing the keys into Serenity’s hand. “At least I know that you know how to get to my place,” she mumbled, climbing into the car. Smiling, Serenity drove to Chloe’s apartment in silence, helping a giggly Chloe inside and to the bedroom. Chloe stretched out on the bed, pulling Serenity to her. “I don’t know what I would do without you in my life,” she whispered, curling up to the blonde. “With Aubrey across the country...”

“Do you think she is happy?” Serenity asked, her arms wrapping around Chloe. “From what you have told me, I thought she used to hate this chick she is dating now.”

Chloe chuckled. “I don’t think Aubrey ever actually hated Beca. They just had their differences.” She was quiet for a moment. “I think Beca has the potential to make her happy, and Aubrey deserves it, so much. She had a horrible four years at Barden. It hurt me so much to see her put herself under so much stress and be unable to do anything about it.” Chloe yawned, a content sigh escaping her lips as Serenity gently ran her fingers through her hair.

“Did you enjoy our first date?” she asked, smirking when she felt Chloe nod. “Did I do good enough to deserve a second date?” Her voice was steady, even if slightly unsure. After a moment with no response, she looked down, noticing that Chloe had fallen asleep. She reached down, pulling the blanket over them, kissing the top of Chloe’s head. “I expect an answer in the morning, Red,” she whispered, closing her eyes.


End file.
